i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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