I seem to have left my pride at pride
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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