Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize