i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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