Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
