I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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