You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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