Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
