Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
