Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
