the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
