I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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