why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
