I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
