He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize