I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
