He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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