if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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