Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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