Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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