I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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