I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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