I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dignity is for republicans.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
