You work out of a Hotel?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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