You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
