Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
