I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
