do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
