what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
