weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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