I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
porn star boner night. come get it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
