There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
