If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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