Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
