Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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