you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
