What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
