You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
