It's Friday. Sex?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
