It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
