My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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