i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
