I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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