no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
