I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This is the high leading the old right now
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
