I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That was an excessively violent trivia night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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