I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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