you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize