I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
