Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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