if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
