Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
