For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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