it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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