my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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