You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
