I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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