you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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