You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize