lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
