he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
