i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
